Yes Women Do Work Well Together

HOW SHE DOES IT is officially out now. It's a strange experience, working on a book for years, finishing it - but then not having it out in the world for months. Then one day: it's there. People often compare it to giving birth but, in my experience, it's nothing like. Birth is (if you're lucky) a fairly continuous process; publishing a book isn't. I finished How She Does It months and months ago and then, in effect, it went away. Now it's back and out in the world.
http://www.amazon.com/How-She-Does-Entrepreneurs-Changing/dp/0670038237/sr=8-1/qid=1169476475/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-9829664-5393431?ie=UTF8&s=books

The best part of writing the book was meeting the phenomenal women in it. I don't think any one of them thought of herself as remarkable. Is that because we are socialized to be modest and understated? Perhaps. We fear drawing attention to ourselves and our achievements lest it make others feel uncomfortable. That's why Nancy Pelosi's tea party was so thrilling. Regardless of your political views, it was exhilirating to see a woman proudly owning her achievements -- and paying tribute to all the other WOMEN who had helped her.

The fact that she owed so much to women is especially interesting because so many of us have had experience of women being horrid to each other. Like my first boss, who hated to see me doing work that would advance my career - so she'd try to interrupt by asking me to deliver her dry cleaning! Many women write to me and say that their worst work experiences are with other women - I know that this can be true because I've been there. BUT I do think it is changing. The rising of women's networks is phenomenal. I've been involved in two lately and I've been moved and impressed by how they work.

The first is a group called the Women Guru's Network. This is ten women all of whom write, speak and think about work, business and gender. Leadership gurus like Sally Helgesen, marketing mavens like Marti Barletta, language experts like Connie Glaser. We got together in New York to talk about our work and our businesses and were able to throw a lot of light on what each of us is doing, how and where we might find more challenging assignments. Because we mostly work alone, it was a great way to break down isolation, pool information and dream up new ideas. Interestingly, some women who'd been invited to join resisted because they felt we could be competitors. But isn't this just the point? Yes, we may compete -- but we're still stronger together than apart.

The second experience was of a women's healthcare network called X2HN, founded by Medseek's founder, Gale Wilson-Steele. She created the organization with the many women working in healthcare, whom she otherwise only ever saw at conferences. Not working in healthcare myself, I was fascinated by their current topics: automation in healthcare (pharmacy robots!) automation of medicine delivery, the chronic undervaluing of nursing. The group is a combination of entrepreneurs, executives and consultants working together to help each other in their industry and their careers. Here was a room full of women doing what men have done for centuries: finding out each others' needs and helping each other. It really was the opposite of the notorious Queen Bee syndrome - and the only antidote for it.

So yes, women have been socialized to compete with each other for the attention of men and this has proved hideously isolating. But we are getting over it. And being so brilliant at relationships, we can get over it fast!!